so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
