I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'd cum for enchiladas.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
