He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
