I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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