She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
