my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
