I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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