One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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