Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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