Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize