I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
