im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
