haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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