Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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