the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
40s are totally the cure
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
