Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
