their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
