Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
