We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
