If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
