so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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