i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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