i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize