i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
