im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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