I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
