Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
