Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
