I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
