I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
