god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
