not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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