you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
