i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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