It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
