i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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