I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
