FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
