You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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