It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
