she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
