He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
