dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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