How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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