How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
