We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
