All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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