She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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