let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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