Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
