It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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