The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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