I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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