How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
