The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
