After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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