K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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