2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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