Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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