I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize