wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
