i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
